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God Save Us From Ourselves

I was listening to a renowned scholar talking about the aim of marriage, and couldn’t stop myself from trying to find out if everyone or majority of folks share his same views on the purpose of marriage, so:

Do you think that the most important aims of marriage are just ‘Companionship and breeding’?!

If your answer is yes, I think you are depriving and denying yourself from experiencing one of the most beautiful and noble emotions that has ever existed ‘Love’, and you are not doing yourself justice because you have a right to seek love, be loved and give love to your loved one.

I always loved that part of the ‘Christian/Western’ wedding vows when couples say to one another ‘To Love and Cherish!’

Just as my love to God makes me bear whatever tests he puts me through and maintain my faith, loving your other half enables you to stand solid throughout your relationship with them and face everything with them happily and firmly be it (Illness, poverty, challenge, hardship and obstacle.)

A book, cat, dog, gardening, your friends, TV, work or even yourself if you enjoy solitude can provide you with company, it is not a very wise step to marry someone because you are looking for company!

We are not machines or robots to let go of our emotions; the great ones like love, and just to your knowledge they are making now robots that can express emotions and give back love to their owner!

In Islam when describing the relationship between spouses the lord says ‘و جعلنا بينكم مودة و رحمة, meaning (and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts)), I think all religions place so much great emphasis upon love.

I have heard a number of folks especially accomplished men who place a great emphasis when talking about marriage on the ‘Companionship and breeding’ side, and from my perspective I regard this as unfair for those in favour of such notions and their partners.

Lack of love will make us commit many inhumane and uncivilized actions against our partners; can you imagine what unloving spouse can do to their partner if the relationship fails?!

Some who lack the courage and love to inform their partner face to face that the relationship isn’t working anymore can choose to send that via a TWEET!

Let us mend our relationships and perspectives and choose love over anything else every time!

Finally, I don’t know where we are heading to when we subtract love from the equation of life and marriage, may God save us from ourselves!

Eating the Other: Desire & Resistance-Bell Hooks

 

To make one’s self vulnerable to the seduction of difference, to seek an encounter
with the Other, does not require that one relinquish forever one’s mainstream
positionality. When race and ethnicity become commodified as resources for pleasure,
the culture of specific groups, as well as the bodies of individuals, can be seen as
constituting an alternative playground where members of dominating races, genders,
sexual practices affirm their power-over in intimate relations with the Other.

Tough & Ambitious Vs Balance & Fairness

I always ask people to be ‘TOUGH & AMBITIOUS’ & demand it from myself, I tell myself to be tough & ambitious, but I don’t want to be so tough & ambitious that I lose sight & have so much regrets later in life on any aspects within my life.

Maybe this kind of thinking was inspired to be by many very successful figures that had regrets at later stages of their lives for the way they had led their lives. We`may envied them for what they represented, in our eyes they embodied the peak of human achievement, happiness,success & were making tons of money, that is what we saw from outside, but what was happening inside was very different; they had epic battles taking place.

The biggest regret people have very late at/in their lives has something to do with ‘Human Relationships’; walking away from the love of your life because it wasn’t the right time, being absent from the birth of your child, or during your child’s first soccer game/dance/party/graduation or whatever activity or thing that was very important to them and they needed you there to celebrate their success, but you decided not to show up due to the head ruling you over matters of love. Same goes for not being there for your significant other.

You will discover at your death bed that it was your loved ones who will really make/made all the difference, not all your incredible achievements, successes, wealth, and all those stuff.

Am not saying we should be less ambitious, but try to make a balance, and pray that God gives us insight on what really matters.

In Islam we have a hadith narrated from the prophet (PBUH) that says “You have a duty to your Lord, you have a duty to your body, and you have a duty to your family, so you should give each one its rights.” , so what we need is to make balance, be fair, & give all parties their rights.

When ‘Cock’ met ‘Cunt’!

There’s no depth in many of the relationships taking place around us anymore, commitment and having a meaningful relationship are off the table. How hot a couple might be feeling towards each other is linked temporarily to that moment they are in; when both of are in the state of being ‘HORNY’, and that particular moment when both of them are ‘AROUSED’ beyond control and the mind seems foggy and the one remedy and solution is to F***! No wonder that some marriages now last about two, three months & sometimes less than that! There were no solid foundations those relationships were built on, other than that burning desire,  no one knows why they had chosen their partner!

It’s just a mating and an intercourse taking place between a ‘COCK’ & a ‘CUNT’,  and when they are done, and their hunger has subsided they see no reason to prolong the relationship or take it to another level. It’s not a relationship that is meant to be a ‘FOREVER’.

After both had went their separate ways what if that cock and cunt are feeling starved once again and hunger is eating them alive?! What happens then?! I don’t know, but maybe they will repeat the cycle with other cocks and cunts, and they will be living in that cycle where long term relationships, commitment, family, love and marriage becomes of less importance and everyone is hooked on getting between/under sheets and to just do it!

Alive ‘Content Warning’

 

Nancy was sitting at the kitchen table sipping her coffee and reading an article about how to spice one’s sex live in the magazine, and she was surprised at the weirdness of the tips, the sexy lingerie’s they wore, it barely covered anything, of how the female models positioned themselves with the men in the photos, it left no room for the imagination and it looked as if they were having a real intercourse with one another except that they weren’t actually doing it, she asked herself if  she ever after 20 something years of marriage can get doing this feeling comfortable with her husband?!

The magazine and the photos made her insides melt, she then put it aside and continued enjoying her coffee, then said to herself ‘Matt wouldn’t want me to be that sexy for him,  see me in outfit that exposed all my feminine parts, he prefers to be lewd with his whores!’

Suddenly her twin children appeared; Daniele & Isabella, she thanked God for having them in her life, if not for them she wouldn’t had stayed married to Matt for a day longer.

Each dropped a kiss on one of her cheeks, and she held their faces close to hers returned the kiss and ran her nose across their face smelling them like she did when they were babies; they had the most adorable scent now and back then.

‘I don’t think you have university today, where are going to?’She asked them

The two spoke spontaneously like they always do ‘We were invited by some friends ‘The Hamilton’s’, and we will spend the day in their new yacht.’

‘Oh! The papa is bragging and showing off! I wonder what sort of criminal act did he engage in to land such huge money?!’

They laughed and then Isabella mentioned to her mom that he works in diversified businesses and makes investments in many ventures.

‘Unlike your papa, when it comes to ‘The Field of Law’ he is a devoted monk!’

They took their sandwiches with them and went on their way.

‘Drive safely, and no irresponsible acts or behaviours.’

‘Yeah, mom, we know!’ Said

She got up and went upstairs, to her kids room first, the cleaner will tidy their rooms but she loves tidying them anyway, she picked some books on her daughters bed, then returned the books to the shelve, opened the window, and went out to her son’s room, his room was like a circus when he was a kid and even now, she picked his socks, shoes, pants, shirts, tidied his bed, picked his laptop & guitar from the floor, and then opened the windows, and went off to her room.

Once she was at her bedroom’s door her chest became tight and her heart dropped, her hands on the door knob, she paused for awhile, before opening the door forcefully, this is the one room that she doesn’t like tidying or staying in!

She sat on one of the chairs, and stared at the bed remembering what happened four nights before. Matt was out and he arrived home very late, she didn’t notice that he came in, only felt his hands parting her legs, before he thrust himself into her body, he kept sliding in and out of her as if he was getting rid of something, and few minutes later it all  finished, he stood by the bed side took his cloth off, and slept beside her naked, then her body started shaking, she was having orgasms, she touched his shoulder but he had already went into deep sleep, her body then became feverish, she got up, went to the bathroom and took a shower, when she came back her husband’s mobile was thrown on the floor, she picked it up, and then suddenly a text message appeared, it was from someone called ‘Horny’ and it said ‘Don’t tell me you wasted that precious erection again on her?!’  Her face blushed,  she felt humiliated and raged, then she kept reading the texts,  the earlier one said ‘Am turned on and you know how bad that is for me when you aren’t around, please come now I need you’, then she understood why her husband was so horny awhile ago that he didn’t mind ‘Fucking her while being asleep.’, she kept reading the messages, then after she finished, went again to the bathroom and began vomiting, she was sick, shaking and angry, then her head and heart started to ache, ten years of cheating and she keeps living in hell, she started sobbing  until the morning. There were extreme knocks and kicking at the door and she felt she is in a dream, she woke up and found herself sleeping on the bathroom floor, so he didn’t even bother to check on her, and here he was preparing himself for his sluts and work.

She picked herself up, washed her face, and opened the door, he bent forward to drop a kiss, she avoided him saying ‘I was sick last night.’

She sat in the study until he left, at noon she heard a voice and she went out to see who it was , standing at the door was the most beautiful male she had ever seen, tall, blonde, wide shoulders, a well built body, long muscled legs and  a narrow waist, he was a work of art, he smiled , and then looked intensely at her, it was as if he liked what he saw, she felt  like ‘Shit’, and there she was being lustfully stared at by a young man, she wondered what did he see in her that didn’t catch Matt’s attention?!

Nancy looked down at herself, she completely had forgotten that she is wearing her night gown, her breasts were exposed, the gown was short, very transparent, and she wasn’t wearing anything else underneath it.

Embarrassed she shut the study door, heart beating and barely able to breathe, she kept her back to the door, he talked to the maid, and then the door was closed.

Nancy moved to the window held the curtain to one side,  and  looked at him as he was leaving, as if he sensed someone was staring at him, he looked back and waved his hand at her!

*****

For the last ten years of her marriage Matt kept cheating on her, they argued and fought, separated for awhile, and even were on the verge of divorce, he then promised her that he will not cheat on her again, and he will be a faithful and loving husband. But it only got worse, and the more richer and powerful he got, the more perverted he became.

The love in their marriage ended, and there was no more sex either, and Nancy was glad, she couldn’t bear him touching her or being inside her body. She stayed in the marriage for her twins; she was going to protect them no matter what even if it meant staying with a cheating husband she doesn’t love or desire anymore.

*****

‘Am Patrick!’  A voice said from above her shoulder

She knew who that voice belonged to, she removed the hat from over her face, she was wearing a bikini by the pool side, it was as if she is destined to meet him whenever she is having minimum cloth on!

She doesn’t know how long had he stood there watching her, and didn’t bother to cover herself. She looked at him wondered if she would feel again the same way she did the other day.

‘How can I help you?!’ She asked.

‘Am looking for Mr. Matt, they need him at the firm, and when they couldn’t be reach him on his phone, I was sent.’

So he is spending the day with his slut who loves his erections. Her gaze moved from Patrick’s shoes to his legs, then she saw a bulge at the front of his trousers, just like she didn’t bother to cover herself he stood right in front of her not ashamed of his arousal.

She stood up walking away towards the house and said to him in aloud angry tone ‘Well you are wasting your time here, he isn’t around.’

She wanted to shout back at him and say ‘You will find him with his sluts.’

But then she turned around and found him staring at her bottom, her cheeks blushing she said to him ‘Am not his secretary!’

*****

For the following days she kept seeing Patrick every, and then saw him again while she was spending her day with her friends, he was sitting in the cafe opposite to her, she was wearing a very revealing summer dress, after he came into her life she threw all her wardrobe away and bought sexy and more feminine wardrobe, she went to where he was sitting and confronted him saying ‘Are you following me?!’

‘Yes.’ Said Patrick

He threw her off balance, she was counting on him denying and then arguing with him, not to be so blatant.

‘Why?’

‘You deserve a better man!’

‘Stay out of my way, is this how you make your living, chasing women whom their husband’s are having a mid life crisis!’

‘Some people need to be saved from themselves Nancy, and am here to do that for you!’

She shook her head and left him.

*****

She kept seeing more of him for the next months and she avoided him completely, then her daughter made remarks about him, she told her to stay away from him and concentrate on her life.

‘Do you think he is bad?! Bad men are sexy mom!’

‘Bella watch your mouth!’

She confronted her husband with the text messages she saw, that he broke his oath not cheating on her, and he didn’t deny, he told her it comes with the changes in his life. Then told her that he will not beg her again to forgive him and she can do whatever she wants.

*****

She found a job with the help of her friends and moved out of the house, she was always good with numbers, it was a job in a big accounting firm, and she enrolled herself at the university.

One night as she was having dinner with her best friend she told her that she wanted to do something thrilling, her friend recommended a ‘Dancing Class’ for her,  and told her that maybe she will meet the man of her life while learning new moves and burning calories!

She registered herself at a night class and thought of bringing her kids, but they told her they already had plans but will come to see her, at the class the teacher told them to pair up, she was the only one left without a partner, her Spanish dancing teacher came to her aid saying ‘ We can dance together!’

Then she heard the voice that had never left her for months now ‘No need, I don’t have a partner too, so we can team up!’

Once in his arms she was tense for the first few minutes, then later on her body relaxed and let him guide her, they kept moving together, she was unaware of everything except this man who made her feel so ‘Alive’ since the first day they had met.

Later at night she let him accompany her back to home, while walking they talked, he told her that he is an orphan, he doesn’t know his father, his mother committed suicide after some of her lovers whom were drug dealers hooked her on drugs and turned her into a prostitute.

‘I guess she couldn’t stand being used by the men she has loved starting from my dad, then later on her lovers who were concealing their true identity and occupation, hooking her up on drugs, then after they got bored with her, and she become of no value to them introduced her to prostitution, she couldn’t take what they did to her and what she had become, so she then decided to end her story her way.’

‘Each day I keep asking myself why had she given up on herself and me? Why didn’t she fight back?!’

Suddenly she came into a halt, opened her arms and hugged him tightly, he was sobbing openly, and she held him tight in her arms, he needed someone to reassure him that they are there for him, and that he won’t be let down just like what happened to his mom, they stood like this for awhile.

‘Sometimes when we are panicked, with not so many options, and in dangerous situations, the mind gives us only two options ‘Fight/Flight’, some are very vulnerable,  alone, scared, they chose not to fight, they chose the exit door, they want to run away from pain, and put an end to their misery.’ Nancy said to him

They finally arrived to her building, she invited him, and he seemed reliefed that she did, she played music, they cooked together, while dancing when they found a chance and sang happily , they seemed like lifelong friends, they set the table at the balcony, the sight was breathtaking, and she had grown various plants and roses, the balcony had become one amazing garden.

They talked about everything, politics, music, movies, their likes and dislikes, they even danced again together, at the very first hours of the morning he left her after placing a kiss inside her palm.

At work she kept and held that hand he kissed all day next to her heart during, their evenings now ended with him walking with her to home, them cooking together, eating together, chatting, dancing, listening to music, reading books, watching movies, and enjoying being with each other.

*****

After her divorce he proposed to her, he left working at Matt’s firm, he now gives various coaching lessons on life, dancing and many other things, she hesitated at first because of the age difference, but he convinced her that it doesn’t mean anything for him.

‘Am fifty, won’t you want children?!’

‘Am in my thirties and strong like a bull, am sure we will make babies together.’

‘Stop joking, am serious!’ She said

He looked at her and said ‘All men aren’t like Matt, am not Matt, I won’t cheat on you, and I will always love you.’

*****

They married, and her children and friends were there, she was very happy and she knew she had found the love of her life.

*****

At their room in the hotel she stood in front of him naked, she wanted to see his reaction towards a woman that is fifty, a belly that had carried babies, breasts that had gone into motherhood, and body that isn’t as young as his.

He ran his eyes over her entire body lingering his gaze on her most feminine and womanly parts, his hands and lips stroked and loved her, and with his passion he showed her how much he was crazy about her.

His voice was hoarse as he said ‘I made an oath that I will never be with a woman except with the bond of marriage, and that I will not do to any woman what some men did to my mother. I have saved myself for the right woman, and you are the right woman.’

Then they kissed and touched each other feverishly and hungrily, his erection pressing into her aching center, and their tongues going into a tango dance.